a day in the life of a 3rd year history and politics student… currently working on
1. two presentations for this week and next week on the transition of West African communities to legitimate commerce following the abolition of the slave trade, and on the question of reparations -whether Africa should be paid reparations for the slave trade.
2. two mini dissertations, each 5000 words, one on gender and nationalism and the other on islam and democracy in egypt and pakistan.
3. another essay on the abolition of the slave trade (2500 words) and
4. another essay on the development of islamic law and theology in the 9th/3rd century during the Abbasid caliphate.
please. someone. tell. me. it’s . going. to .be .ok. no social life till april (sister’s wedding - can’t wait).
I always wanted to live in Paris. I came to the conclusion a long time ago, that Paris is by far my favourite city to be in. Every street, every building, every little cafe is just unique, it’s Paris. I know this romanticised version of Paris I have on my mind is heavily due to the fact that I’ve never actually lived there, I’ve only visited the city as a tourist. But I don’t know why, I always felt that I need to live there at least for just one year, just to cross it off my bucket list.
What if I actually get the chance to live there though? Will it be as perfect as I imagine it to be? Ultimately what determines our experiences and memories in places, are not the places as such, but the people we share them with. Every time I’ve been to Paris, I was there with the people I love, my friends, my family, my sister. I’ve never been in Paris on my own. My sister spent a year in Paris, as part of her undergraduate degree. She told me that it was one of the most miserable years of her life. Even though she was in her favourite place on earth, she could never enjoy herself, due to the fact that she was missing her favourite people she wanted to share this experience with. She made some friends there, but she wasn’t with the people she wanted to be with; her boyfriend, her friends and her family. She was alone, with a few acquaintances to go out with on weekends.
I applied for a Master’s degree in Paris. Despite the fact that most probably I won’t get accepted (since without even realising what I was applying for, I applied to one of the most competitive universities in the World - Sciences Po) , I have been thinking about what would happen if I ever got the chance to move there. Ideally I would grab the chance and seize the opportunity to get to live there, to study there and experience Paris for a whole year. But when I think about it, I’m terrified. I’m not a sociable person, I don’t make friends easily, and even if I do, I’m usually bored of people. There’s very few people on this earth who I never get bored of, and these people are already in my life. So the eternal question is, should we stay with things we know and things which a 100% guarantee that we will like them? Or should we opt for the unknown, even though we know that we might face some difficulties, just for the sake of acquiring new experiences?
I don’t know I’m confused. Im always shifting between these two stances in the way I choose to conduct my life, and it’s just exhausting. Why can’t there be an ideal middle course? Why can’t I experience new things, with the people I love, and make new memories, with the people I want to make them with?
Aaaahhhh life; so confusing…..
Also I do realise how stupid, and pointless this rant is. Other people don’t even get the chance to move around the world, and have people pay for their choices. I do. And yet i continue to think in the same selfish way I always did. Oh well, some things never chance. You can teach a spoilt middle class girl about marxism, she will understand it and appreciate it, but at the end of the day, all she’ll worry about is her own well-being. Oh the guilt.